Agency

The role of agency can seem a little distorted when it comes to depression. One often hears the phrase, "Happiness is a choice!" and yet, that choice isn't really available for one dealing with mental illnesses like depression.

Despite this, there is still much within your power! You still have your agency. God has not taken away your ability to choose. You still have the choice of how to approach this trial—to let it harden you, or humble you. You also have the choice in deciding whether or not you will do anything about your depression. The decision to make a phone call and schedule an appointment with a doctor or to sit and do nothing is entirely up to you. You have the choice in how to use your time, how you will treat those around you, and whether or not you will keep the commandments. While making those choices might be more difficult, remember that you are not helpless, nor hopeless, and that there still lies within you the power to choose and act for yourself.

         Because you still have the precious gift of agency, you are accountable for how you handle your depression. It is not the responsibility of those around you to “fix” you, and to wait and rely on other people to do so will only lead to disappointment, blame, and rocky or terminated relationships. Please don’t misunderstand—I am not telling you here to deny the help and counsel of loving and willing hands around you. Nor am I telling parents that they are not responsible for their children that struggle with depression. What I am saying is that it is an unrealistic expectation to give your burden to another person, and then expect them to be responsible for the outcome. Ask for help, but be accountable. It is unreasonable to expect anyone other than Christ to be your Savior. Not that people cannot act as His hands, which we are asked to be. People can help, but only Christ can redeem—do not ask others to take that responsibility that is unique to Him only.

         The hard but honest truth about depression is that if you decide to do nothing about it, then it probably won’t get better. Remember that you are doing yourself no favors by sitting and wallowing in self-misery and telling yourself you deserve to feel that way. No, you do not deserve to feel that way. Show yourself some self-respect, and act. Taking the first step in doing something about your depression can seem scary or intimidating, because it can mean making a phone call, stepping into a doctor’s office, and opening up to someone. Just remind yourself that you deserve to be happy, and that it is worth the effort. It is worth the effort to be happy.

As you take charge of your life, putting your hand in God’s, I believe that you will find in yourself more power than you realized you had. You will find the strength to overcome, little by little, what before seemed impossible. Don't give up. You have more strength than you realize. And you know what? YOU are wonderful.