I'm sorry I haven't really updated this in awhile. I haven't really had any spurts of inspiration. But I'd like to address a little thought: I've noticed that we people with depression, or even those that are just going through a hard time, tend to give ourselves guilt trips about the bad feelings we already have. Isn't that funny--we already feel bad, so we make ourselves feel worse by thinking we shouldn't feel that way.
Guess what--it's okay to feel crappy. It's okay to have bad days. Yes, they suck, but giving yourself a guilt trip about it certainly won't make you feel any better.
"Why do I feel this way??" "I should be able to deal with this!!" "Other people go through worse things and handle it so much better!!" "What's wrong with me?" Do these sound familiar? Probably.
Well, let's answer these really honestly--you feel "that way" because you have depression. Not because you did something awful. Your dopamine or serotonin levels in your brain are not balancing out right. That's not your fault. It's nobody's fault.
As far as "dealing" with it--you are dealing with it. You have to give yourself credit for all the effort you go through. You are still pushing forward despite feeling terribly crummy. That is dealing with it really awesomely in actuality. Just because the bad feelings don't go away doesn't mean you're not dealing with it.
And the "other people" reasoning--- in actuality, you do not see all of the pain behind the closed doors of peoples' hearts. You only see them from your perspective, not theirs. So it's pretty unreasonable to compare how you deal with things to how you think other people deal with things.
And there is nothing wrong with you. I think with depression people often go through the stages of grief. Unless you have some serious sins to repent of, in which case, repentance really does work!, it is not your fault for feeling the way you do.
