Gratitude: A Thanksgiving Post

Gratitude has been on my mind a lot lately. Part of this is because Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and part of it stems from experiences I've had recently. I believe gratitude to be one of the most uplifting virtues man can possess. Sadly, it seems to be one of the most lacking in today's world of consumerism, where we need to buy what we really don't need, and this year you can buy it all on the holiday during which we used to express thankfulness for the things we already had.

I love this quote:

If I were to pick a quote to hang up in my apartment, this would be it. I truly believe that gratitude turns us into happier people. If we want to look for things to complain about, it's not too hard. But if in a moment of negativity, we stop for a second to just count even a few of our blessings, I believe we will be happier.

I am not claiming that gratitude will cure clinical depression. But I would like to issue a challenge to you: go get a piece of paper, or pull up Microsoft Word on your computer, and write out just a few things that you are grateful for.

Here are some things I'm grateful for:

1. The Atonement, through which we can find strength, healing and forgiveness

2. Family, especially my husband and soon-to-arrive baby (as well as my parents, siblings, and in-laws)

3. An apartment that has carpet, storage, a dishwasher, and a blessed laundry room

4. The scriptures. I have found so much knowledge, strength, revelation, and expression of God's love for me through them.

5. Having our very own furniture, even if it is an eclectic mix of DI, IKEA, new, hand-me-down, and yard-sale finds. It is OURS. 

If you're tired of that activity, then try this one: write down 2 things that you are grateful for that happened TODAY.

Here are mine:

1. I ate some oreos. They were delicious. 

2. I got to talk on the phone with my half-brother who is on the other side of the country.

 I am willing to bet that if you repeated either of these activities every day, or even every other day, life will seem a lot less gloomy. I asked a group of people for some ways that helped them get through depression, and one person said that really taking the time to look for the good in life, people, and everything was something simple that helped her. I love that. Some days it seems we have very little to be grateful for. The world may seem dark or lonely. But if we step back and take some time to see those good things, I think we will find a lot more things to be grateful for that we may have missed. Here is an old post of mine if you would like to see another one of my gratitude lists, written in a moment of patriotism. 

As we express gratitude, I do believe that we are happier. Remember to take the time to thank Heavenly Father for the blessings you have. He loves it when we do that. :) If someone did something we appreciate, tell them so. It will make both of you happier. Don't believe me? Just try it and see what happens.

What are you grateful for?

Agency

The role of agency can seem a little distorted when it comes to depression. One often hears the phrase, "Happiness is a choice!" and yet, that choice isn't really available for one dealing with mental illnesses like depression.

Despite this, there is still much within your power! You still have your agency. God has not taken away your ability to choose. You still have the choice of how to approach this trial—to let it harden you, or humble you. You also have the choice in deciding whether or not you will do anything about your depression. The decision to make a phone call and schedule an appointment with a doctor or to sit and do nothing is entirely up to you. You have the choice in how to use your time, how you will treat those around you, and whether or not you will keep the commandments. While making those choices might be more difficult, remember that you are not helpless, nor hopeless, and that there still lies within you the power to choose and act for yourself.

         Because you still have the precious gift of agency, you are accountable for how you handle your depression. It is not the responsibility of those around you to “fix” you, and to wait and rely on other people to do so will only lead to disappointment, blame, and rocky or terminated relationships. Please don’t misunderstand—I am not telling you here to deny the help and counsel of loving and willing hands around you. Nor am I telling parents that they are not responsible for their children that struggle with depression. What I am saying is that it is an unrealistic expectation to give your burden to another person, and then expect them to be responsible for the outcome. Ask for help, but be accountable. It is unreasonable to expect anyone other than Christ to be your Savior. Not that people cannot act as His hands, which we are asked to be. People can help, but only Christ can redeem—do not ask others to take that responsibility that is unique to Him only.

         The hard but honest truth about depression is that if you decide to do nothing about it, then it probably won’t get better. Remember that you are doing yourself no favors by sitting and wallowing in self-misery and telling yourself you deserve to feel that way. No, you do not deserve to feel that way. Show yourself some self-respect, and act. Taking the first step in doing something about your depression can seem scary or intimidating, because it can mean making a phone call, stepping into a doctor’s office, and opening up to someone. Just remind yourself that you deserve to be happy, and that it is worth the effort. It is worth the effort to be happy.

As you take charge of your life, putting your hand in God’s, I believe that you will find in yourself more power than you realized you had. You will find the strength to overcome, little by little, what before seemed impossible. Don't give up. You have more strength than you realize. And you know what? YOU are wonderful.