Here is some hard but honest truth about depression--if you do nothing to try to change how you feel, then you will still feel miserable. And sometimes worse. If you want to feel happier, it requires action on your part. No one else can cure it. Of course, having the support of friends helps, but it's like that analogy of hanging on other peoples' testimonies--you can only do that for so long before you have to have your own. So it is with your personal happiness--the happiness and support of other people can help, but it can never replace what you are actually feeling.
So...what is there to do? GET HELP. If you have been feeling miserable for a long time for no reason, GET HELP. You are doing yourself no favors by wallowing in self-misery and feeling like you deserve to feel that way. No, you don't deserve to feel that way. It's time to show yourself some self-respect and ACT. This usually means going to a doctor. Yes, it is scary, especially if it's your first time. There is unfortunately a bad stigma often associated with seeking professional help for depression because it supposedly means, "something is wrong with you." That's a load of crap. What it REALLY means, is that you are showing yourself that you care enough about your well-being to take care of yourself, including your mental health.
What kind of doctor? Well, it is best if you meet with both a medical doctor that can prescribe you some great meds, in addition to seeing a counselor/therapist. THEY ARE SO GREAT!!! Honestly, I would never have progressed as much as I have without the great counselor I had at BYU, in addition to finding a medication that was right for me. I realize that counselors can be expensive (unless you're a BYU student--it's FREE!!! YES, FREE!!!!!!!!!!), but finding a good counselor is WORTH IT. I will write some other posts that elaborate more on therapists and anti-depressant meds another time.
That said, you need to DO something about your depression. Yes, that requires action. It requires making a phone call, or stepping into an unfamiliar doctor's office. Yes, that can be scary or very uncomfortable. But no one there is going to look at you and be like, "Oh gee, I wonder why she/he is here? They must have ISSUES. What a LOSER." No one is thinking that. In fact, if you're in the counselor's office, the other people sitting there are there for the same reasons you are! You are not alone.
So, let me sum up the important things really quick:
1) If you don't do anything to change the way things are, then they will not get better. End of story.
2) Show yourself some self-respect and realize you DO deserve to be happy, and that YOU should DO something about it.
3) Don't expect immediate change--you've taken an important and huge step, but there is still a road to travel. Progress is gradual, and you need to be patient with yourself, and with your doctors, who really do have your best interest in mind. Give it all some time--medication usually take a few weeks before you notice a difference, and counseling takes several sessions so you can apply what you learn and change any unhealthy paradigms that you've been stuck with for awhile.
4) IT'S WORTH IT. IT IS WORTH THE EFFORT TO BE HAPPY
5) Oh, and keep praying to God for help and reading your scriptures during all of this. He will help guide you, provide comfort, and the scriptures provide a solid source of truth for you to lean on, especially when it comes to the Atonement and our Savior's love for YOU.
Hang in there. You are doing better than you think.
