God's Purposes

There was a scripture and comment that was made today in Sunday school that really intrigued me.

Here's the scripture:

(God is speaking here.) "For behold, this is my work and my glory--to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." Moses 1:39

Then, the visiting stake high council member made the comment, "If you had the responsibility of helping a soul obtain eternal life, how would you do it?"

 Woah, I'd never thought of that. Everything God does is to help us be prepared for eternal life and to become as He is, and to become as He is, well, we can't just be handed everything. So I thought about that. If I were a God and was in charge of helping people be prepared for eternal life, I'd have to give them trials. There would be no other way for them to grow, no other way for them to be prepared. You don't grow by only having blessings. We have to have an opposition in all things. Our trials are God's way of preparing us for eternal life. As hard and miserable as they are...there is a bigger picture. I don't think every trial comes from God by any means--many are results of our own disobedience or the disobedience of others, but there is an eternal, massive picture greater than any of us can see. It's just so hard to see when our spiritual eyes are blurred by dark clouds of depression or other trials. I also do believe that Satan so cunningly uses depression to his advantage in trying to destroy, tempt, and discourage us, but if we do everything within our power to help ourselves, while relying on the Lord, we will be lifted up, even if it isn't as soon as we would like.

God loves us so much, and wants us to not only return to Him, but to become like Him. Pause and think of how your trials have made you better. Maybe you're more understanding. You've likely been able to help others as well. You're definitely stronger. Your Heavenly Father is molding you into something bigger than our earthly eyes and mind can comprehend.

Savior, Redeemer of My Soul

Okay, so about a week ago, I went on a date and we saw the movie "17 Miracles," which is about the Willie Handcart Company. Now first of all, I'm usually skeptical about Mormon films, because, let's be honest, most of them are not well done. I appreciate them, I just think we can do better. However, this movie was pretty good. What made it powerful though, was that it was based on true events.

Second of all, I hate crying in front of people. So much so, that almost no guy has ever seen me cry, and I NEVER cry in the theater.

Long story short....I totally cried. (And so did my date...so I didn't feel so bad.) The movie made me think of my mission and I thought of the horrendous trials that the Saints went through. And they played this song called "Savior, Redeemer of My Soul" in it, and it was beautiful . So beautiful, that yesterday I played it over and over while at work. I'm pretty sure it's my new favorite hymn-like song, tied with "Come Thou Fount" and "I Feel My Savior's Love." It's one of those successful hymns that has both beautiful lyrics, and a beautiful melody. So, here are a couple versions of it. In the first one (my favorite one), the actual song doesn't start until about 2:12.

Beautiful People

I read this quote and thought it was amazing and so true:

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen. --Elizabeth Kubler Ros

I also read this other quote in last month's issue of the Ensign. Elder Richard G. Scott of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles said: "Just when all seems to be going right, challenges often come in multiple doses applied simultaneously. When those trials are not consequences of your disobedience, they are evidence that the Lord feels you are prepared to grow more. He therefore gives you experiences that stimulate growth, understanding and compassion, which polish you for everlasting benefit. To get from where you are to where He wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain."

So I guess my theme is that our trials mold us into beautiful people, if we let them. We still have the choice to let our trials harden us, or to humble us. The most biggest heroes in my life are the ones that have also gone through the most difficult trials. But they didn't let those trials define them, or make them angry at God or life or themselves. They relied on Christ and became strengthened and in turn have helped many, many other people. I especially think of my grandfather, who had a less than ideal childhood, and yet is one of the most Christlike people I have ever met. I also think of my Young Women's President. She had lost a 2-year old child, and a son-in-law. And yet she is one of the most wise and caring people, and I attribute much of who I am to the woman she was. I think of my art teacher Benjie that fought for years and eventually lost her battle to breast cancer. She had also lost a daughter to a murder. And yet, she brightened up EVERYONE'S lives up until the end of her's. I think of these people and want to be like them. And most of all, I want  to be more like the Savior. And think of what all of them went through to become beautiful people. Especially Christ. I can't expect to become beautiful without having first experienced my own Garden of Gethsemane. And neither can  you.

Just keep swimming

Oh Dori. That little blue fish from Finding Nemo is a character that you just can't help but love, and love quoting. One of her most oft-quoted lines in my family is when she sings her cheery little tune, "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, what do we do? We swim, swim!" You know, as silly as that little song is, I think it's totally applicable.

I think with depression and just life in general it's really important to avoid obsessive perfectionism and learn your limits, and to be easy on yourself emotionally. However, I think it is just as important that when all you want to do is sleep for days and feel like you have nothing motivating you, to just keep swimming. Keep going. You don't have to go fast, but just keep moving.

Now, I don't want to sound like I'm contradicting myself from a former post about not running faster than you have strength. I think it's so important to be kind to yourself, and recognize when you need a break. However, I have found that when my intended short "break" turns into a weeklong vacation off of life, I have done nothing to help myself and feel even worse.

I also think of the story called The Little Engine that Could. What a great story! If you aren't familiar with it, go google it right now. I think we are all like the little engine, with our huge load going uphill. But, we should apply her attitude as well: "I think I can! I think I can! I think I can!" She wasn't in a race, and she didn't need to go fast. She just needed to keep going and she kept telling herself she could until she reached the top of that hill. She wasn't the strongest train by any means, but she put her mind to the task and just kept going.

So, when you feel like poop and have little energy and wonder what the point of anything is, or feel like you're lost or alone--just keep swimming, and tell yourself you can. Because you can. Never underestimate your own strength. I think most of our strength comes from just believing that we have it! You can do it! You're not in a race against anyone else. As you get up and keep moving, you will find that you are digging yourself out of those little bouts that attack you. I promise. :)