Some Lies we tell ourselves

1: "I am worthless/I am a failure."

2: "God could never love me."

3: "There's just no point anymore. Why am I even trying?"


Let's tackle these. And I'd love to hear your insights as well.

1) I am worthless/ I am a failure: Holy smokes I felt this one all the time on my mission. Every time I didn't make my numbers, I felt like I had failed. If only I had enough faith, or better time-management, or had the Spirit more...  It took me a long time to really believe that I had actually been of some use. A letter from a convert...a comment from a member we worked with about her feeling the Spirit with us... just little things.

Lesson learned--look for the little things that prove this idea wrong. A small accomplishment here...service rendered by your own hand... look back on all you have done and accomplished. Goodness gracious, you are worth so much, and have accomplished so much, and will yet accomplish many things. There was some quote I read from pinterest.com that says something like, "No matter how slow you're going, you're still lapping everyone on the couch." So true!

"For who can find a virtuous woman (or man)? For her (or his) price is far above rubies." Proverbs 31:10

And for those who feel like they have no virtue due to mistakes, or whatever the reason, you are still doing so much good. If you have ever been a friend to anyone, said a kind word to someone, tried to help someone out--you are contributing in building the Lord's kingdom.


2) God could never love me: I cringe when I recall that by a year into my mission, I truly believed this. I thought I was such a failure as a missionary, that there was just know way that God could love me. Fortunately I now recognize that that was a dirty, terrible lie from the adversary. It doesn't matter how much we mess up, "His hand is stretched out still." Just read a couple chapters from the Book of Mormon, and you will see verse after verse reflecting God and Christs' infinite and unbiased love for each one us. Even you! In the book of Moses, Moses is with God and He is looking over the earth, and you know what God did? He wept. Moses was shocked--this, the Great God and Ruler of the universe, was crying??? Over what?? Our Heavenly Father was weeping for us. His children. Because He was so heartbroken that we would sin--we, who He loves so much.

We don't have to be perfect to deserve God's love. His love is not something that we have to earn. We can count on His love as being constant--no matter how shaky and crazy your life is, His love for His children will not and cannot change. Do we deserve it? ...mmmm questionable.... but that doesn't matter! He loves us anyway.

3) There's no point anymore:

Many of us have thought this as the alarm clock has gone off and we have to face another day. Or maybe the thought comes in the darkness after secretly sobbing our heart and soul out.

But this is what Satan wants you to believe. That there is no point. He wants to make us "miserable like unto himself." If he can get us to lose our very will, he wins. It is here that we lose the eternal perspective.

So what is that eternal perspective? It is that if we truly give up, we give away the chance for eternal happiness, glory, and exaltation. Eternal families and Godhood. To live with our Heavenly Father and Christ again. I mean we give all this up if we REALLY give up not just for a moment, but forever. Whether that be by taking your own life when you know you shouldn't, or living as if nothing mattered for the remainder of your life. I sure hope it never gets that bad. But for some it does.

You are so loved. Not only by God, but by the people in your life as well. People are counting on you--future or current children, a future or current spouse. Future posterity. The work of God depends on your however seemingly small actions.

Remember: Good thoughts that draw you to God come from God. Bad thoughts that turn you away from Him are from Satan. It's that simple.

I'd love to know what helps you battle these thoughts, or what other "lies" we tell ourselves that we could discuss.

Hugs!

Update!

Okay, so I feel it appropriate to just update a little on my own life. I only share this to show how far I've come, and how much it's even surprised me.

I have been called to be the Relief Society President of my ward.

Crazy.

If someone had told me that I'd be an RS president at the age of 23 (and less than a year after my mission), I would have been really surprised. And yet, as soon as I found out that the last RS president was moving, the thought/impression immediately came: "It could be me..."  And then last Sunday the secretary called me to say the Bishop wanted to see me. At that,  I was about 90% sure I was about to get this calling, since the Bishop NEVER has asked to see me--all my other callings were extended by his 1st Counselor. So, once the call came, I actually wasn't too surprised.

But I have NEVER had any kind of Relief Society calling before. Ever. Not visiting teaching supervisor, enrichment or ANYTHING. So, this is going to be quite the adventure! And I couldn't be more excited. :) I kept the 1st Counselor the same, and the secretary automatically stays the same, and after meeting with them, I just felt like this is going to be awesome. Like really really stretching for me, but really incredible.

I just need to be aware of not guilting myself out when things don't go perfectly. I feel like I've learned from the mission and with depression to not do that. It's not healthy. Constructive criticism is always fine, but overly beating oneself up about anything is not okay, and does not come from God.

Also, I've been unnaturally tired lately...like I have to sleep through my lunch breaks just to make it through the rest of the day, even after getting 7-8 hours of sleep. I'm getting tested for sleep apnea, but it looks like mono could be a culprit...booooo.  So, the health issues haven't been fun, but whatevs.

Anyway, I know this isn't a typical post for this blog, but I thought I'd just update everyone.

I find it amazing that I have been able to progress from depression so fast. It gives me a lot of hope for other people, and I completely know that my experiences with depression have helped prepare me to receive this calling...which my Bishop said as well.

Anyway, it's going to be an adventure!!

~hugs!~