"I'm back!!!!!!"It could be triggered by a new challenge, remembrance of the past, unkind words said, or maybe for just no reason at all.
It is extremely frustrating to be hit by another bout, especially when we have been feeling great for a time, and have maybe even felt like we had finally conquered the imbalances in our heads. There was a scripture that always made me question: "Adam fell that men might be, and men are that they might have joy." 2 Ne 2:25. I felt like if we exist to have joy, then why does God allow us to have depression? It just didn't make any sense to me. Then I came across another scripture, I'm not sure what the reference is, but it talks about how after this life, the righteous will go to a place of rest, where they will be free from pain and sorrow...it was so comforting. It is so hopeful to know that one day, we will not be even slightly bothered by mental illness. Ever again. Cool!!! But I do believe, after much reflection and study, that our Heavenly Father wants us to be happy during our life, not just after.
However, when Adam fell, that introduced all sorts of bad stuff...sin and countless diseases and sicknesses... But with all of that, God provided a Savior to help us. Not necessarily take the burden away, but to help us through it, or make it lighter, or make us stronger. But, like Enos, we have to "wrestle before the Lord" (Enos 1) much of the time. But we always come out stronger. Remember: you are a fighter. Don't lose hope.
I'm still struggling to know what to do to feel relief when I am revisited with unwanted depression attacks. Something that has helped me lately is work. I just got a full-time job, and it has done wonders for me. It keeps me busy and I feel more independent--something I have always longed for. Keeping busy with something productive has made me totally mentally switch gears. I am WAY more productive than I have been in the past 7 or so months. And that feels fantastic in itself. I was informed how when we do things like play solitaire or read or surf the web all day on a bad day, we are just trying to numb out the depression...but that just puts ourselves in a trap. Get out and get a change of environment. Go on a walk. Go to the store. Whatever it is... but get out.
Most of all never never never lose hope. Maybe you need some new meds (a lot of people have to try more than one kind before they find their "match"), hire a counselor (they rock), and know that as long as you are doing everything you can, that your Heavenly Father is going to help you out. My Bishop gave me the counsel to just get a change of environment when I'm feeling crummy, and then pray for a tender mercy to cross my way when I get to that place as a sign that He approves and/or is watching out for me. I haven't really tried that...but I think I will next time. Or you can put it into practice and let me know how it goes.
What works for you? I'd love to post responses. You can post, or e-mail me: cali_angel777@yahoo.com Let me know if you want it to be anonymous. Remember, we're all in this together. You don't have to fight depression alone, and all contributions are welcome. :)
Hugs.
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