I find myself in this constant struggle of finding ways to keep my depression at bay, or at least discovering methods that work to tone it down when a bout comes around. Let's get real, depression knows how to fight you, and it knows how to attack the weakest parts of you. But guess what, you can fight it back! Depression has taught me just how much of a fighter I really am. In my Abnormal Psychology course at BYU, one girl shared how her brother struggles with Bipolar disorder, and she said something that really struck me: "I have often wonder why he has to struggle with bipolar [disorder], and I think it is so that he can have the opportunity to master himself." Wow! What an optimistic perspective about mental disorders.
Depression is the opportunity to truly master yourself.
And I really feel that I am learning how to do that...more than I have learned from any other experience. What a blessing in disguise. I want to share a couple things that have worked for me in dealing with those daily aches, in hopes that maybe something can work for you. Of course, each person is unique, so different things will work for different people. The main thing is to just be determined enough to discover them.
1) Exercise. Okay, honestly, I avoided exercise like the plague growing up. I have bad asthma, and recently have developed an additional lung problem that makes my chest hurt after exercise. The last time I was on any kind of sports team was when I was ten and did swimming. Put me and a ball within the same vicinity and that ball will almost always be magnetically driven to my face. Oh, and have I mentioned I'm really klutzy? Yeah, basically I would have rather cleaned toilets all day than exercise.
However, my friend recommended it, saying how it had saved her from her depression. So, I gave in, bought some exercise pants, and started jogging/walking a little. Hooooly smokes she wasn't kidding! Endorphins are seriously happy drugs. I don't exactly feel fantastic while exercising, but afterwards I feel INCREDIBLE. Seriously. Try it. Even if it's just lifting weights, or looking up zumba youtube videos. Find something that works for you. Best. Thing. Ever. And it's been wonderful to feel my body transform and become healthy...for the first time in my life.
2) Creating. Remember President Uchtdorf's talk on creating in that one Relief Society Meeting? It's wonderful. He talked about how we all have the need to create. Whether it's something artsy, or a garden, or creating a beautiful space. For me, I have taken up violin lessons, am mastering my piano skills, love photography, draw, and my newest thing--blogging. So, the secret's out--I blog because it helps me feel better. In fact, I have TWO blogs! One is this one (obviously) and another one that focuses on humor and basically just documents the embarrassing and funny events of my life (loveeverysandwich.blogspot.com...in case you're interested.) Sometimes the urge to create is the only thing motivating enough for me to pull my body out of bed. It has become a healthy way for me to control feelings of depression, as well as anxiety. It calms my nerves. And feels so gratifying! There's nothing quite like expanding your talents.
Don't give up. Find what works for you. If one thing doesn't work, don't give up. Keep exploring. You're on a journey of self-discovery and self-mastery. And above everything, be easy on yourself. Remember, you are loved!
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