Poem

One of my good friends wrote this beautiful poem that pretty much expresses how I feel. This is posted with her permission. 




As a child, small, perfect...not understanding there 
could be imperfection...
I just was.
No words to explain or make okay...
I just naturally loved-no holding back or building walls.
Exploring this beautiful
                              amazing
                                       world..
Even more fun with a friend.
    who was also perfect just as.
Time meant NOW.
Was or Would be, didn't matter.
Joy hugged me and I didn't even know it.
 
Then....I ate the fruit.
Everything changed..
I learned about imperfection...and felt holes forming inside of me.
Shame
Guilt
Fear, un-ease...messed up ideas of time-
stress...
Competition was introduced...
a Winner, a Loser.
Lables
Deep sadness...depression.
New words to try to understand.
Boxing myself up.
Trying to be what I should, a new idea.
a new me-so you will like me or think I am enough-
and maybe your love will take me back to perfect acceptance.
Exploring again.
I so miss that!
 
Restoration.
Hope.
Love.
A way to believe I am clean when I feel so dirty.
Atonement....
offered by He who is also Love and Creator
Can His blood perfect even me
-a sinner, 
a time waster,
a person full of holes?
 
His grace....magical, perfect grace--
Wraps me in humility
a desire to forgive
so clearly seeing that I have been forgiven...
 
becoming childlike again in this grown up body...
pleading for my heart to become one with His so I
too can spill out grace and charity.
 
He's helping me....and
he's perfectly patient....
 
--Becky Goodwin  April 17, 2011