Stop Being Hard on Yourself: You're Better Than You Think

Gosh, we are so crazy hard on ourselves sometimes. Or all the time. If only we were as "with-it" as so-and-so, or got better grades, or worked harder, or had this talent or that, or was as righteous as the RS or EQ president, or hadn't committed that terrible sin or blunder, or said that stupid thing, or didn't have this certain flaw...

Well.....then what?

Well, then--guess what--you'd still be imperfect!!!!! And you know what, that's okay. In fact, I want you to repeat this to yourself: It's okay that I'm not perfect. Say it until you believe it. God did not send you here expecting you to be perfect. That's why we have a Savior. To make up for what we lack. Sometimes we feel like it's all up to our works to save us, but we forget that grace is involved too. Grace and works. We need them both. But that's a whole other topic.

But you know what, despite however many imperfections you have, you have so many strengths. Some of you may be thinking, "No. Really. I don't. I've tried looking for them, and I have no talents. No skills. I can't draw. Or sing. Or write. Or handle a ball. I can barely even tie my shoes. I am completely talentless."

If that's what you're thinking, shut up. Not you, but the voice in your head telling you that. That's a load of crap. You do have talents, you're just so used to that voice telling you how talentless you are that you don't want to believe you have talents. Yeah, that's right. Maybe you're afraid of knowing that--oh my gosh--you were blessed with gifts. You have skills that other people don't have (but don't compare...that's unhealthy too.)

Let me name one skill you have right now: you are a fighter. I don't mean like those scary butch muscular chicks or dudes in a wrestling rink that I hope to never run into on the street.

I mean emotionally, you are a fighter! Look how far you've made it! I especially refer to those of you who suffer from mental illness, who have reached that point of suffering where you just wanted to throw in the towel and give up. But you didn't!!! It may have meant suffering through another hellish night of loneliness, pain, fears, or anxieties...but you didn't give up!!! You have so much more strength in you than you realize.

In one of my psychology classes, I was disturbed to learn that 10% of those who suffer from major depression successfully commit suicide.

DON'T BECOME A PART OF THAT STATISTIC.

You are stronger than you realize. Be easier on yourself. It's okay to take a "mental health day" and not be Wonderwoman or Superman for a day. Stay in bed til 2 in the afternoon if you need to. (I'll admit to doing that one. Just don't do it often or it becomes self-destructive.) Go buy yourself ice cream for no reason at all. Play a video game. Look up funny youtube videos for an hour or two. Even Olympians need some rest. And you are an Mental Olympian CHAMP. So, cut yourself some slack and start telling yourself some positive things for a change. Tell yourself how wonderful you are. Write down a list even. I do that a lot actually...and it helps! Maybe you're really good at making people laugh or have a good smile. Maybe you have memorized the first 50 digits of pi. Maybe you dressed super fashionably today. Maybe you are talented at sleeping through bomb-like noises. Perhaps you have pretty hands or feet or some other desirable body feature. Perhaps you have excellent taste in sci-fi literature. Maybe you know how to speak the languages of Star Wars. Maybe babies adore you for no apparent reason at all. Perhaps you are very sensitive to people's needs. Maybe you cook really well. Or maybe you're really good at starting kitchen fires. The list is endless. But seriously, make a tangible list if you have to. I mean really, even dirt has skills. It makes plants grow and is really fun to play in. If you've got toe fungus then you make plants grow too!...hehe. :D You've got skills. I promise. And I mean more than harboring plant life on your epidermis. Take the effort to find them out. I think you'll be surprised.

Just realize how strong you are. Mental illness is not a sign of weakness. In fact, I truly believe it makes you stronger. I mentioned in another post how it is an opportunity to master yourself. I see where I am sometimes and feel so frustrated that I'm not the person I want to be...and then I step back and see where I've been and realize how much I've grown. I can honestly say that having depression has made me a better person in a lot of ways. That doesn't mean I want it. That doesn't mean it still isn't so hard sometimes that I'm too depressed to even cry out the indescribable pain I feel. But I can say I've grown from it. And I look back on my mission and think, "Holy smokes. I can't believe I made it so long. I can do anything!! I am a fighter!!!"

And so are you.